Howl's Moving Castle: The Burden of Having A Heart

Every year, Howl's Moving Castle plays in theaters. And every year since I have found that out, I make the trip to watch it because of how light it makes my heart. That may sound cheesy, but everyone has some type of entertainment they run to for an escape (whether it be reading, film, or even gardening), and this film happens to be a recurring escape from the world for me.

For background, Howl's Moving Castle by Hayao Miyazaki (2004) is a loose adaptation of Diana Wynne Jones’s 1986 novel of the same name. Both versions follow Sophie Hatter in the fictional world of Ingary as she grows into herself and develops self-confidence. This is all while she has been cursed to look and feel like an old lady by the antagonist of the story (the Witch of the Waste) and has left home only to find the wizard Howl and his extravagant moving castle to stay at. The film adaptation is set during a war, which adds an anti-war message that is absent from the book. But even with that difference–and the many smaller ones, like Sophie's hair color and Micheal's differing ages–both versions are still loved dearly by fans of the film and book.

But why do I make the extra effort to see it in theaters instead of buying a physical copy or even pirating it? Well, it's something about every seat in the theater filled to the brim like it's the first day of a blockbuster movie. The crowd is always charged with excitement and it brings me pleasure to hear live gasps and laughs when Howl makes his flamboyant entrance and saves Sophie from danger. And the joy of witnessing the animated beauty of the dangerous star beings that dance around Howl during the rising action and chant for his demise on the big screen with other fans is unmatched. It's also about watching it with my partner and both of us struggling to hold in tears by the time the theater lights pop back on. Our hearts become butter when Sophie gives Howl's heart back after the Witch of the Waste almost stole it forever, causing him to wake up and admit he “feel[s] terrible. Like [he's] trapped under a stone” and Sophie answers with the memorable line: “Oh, yes, a heart's a heavy burden.” Then the music crescendos and our eyes start shining from the emotion of the music and memorable words. It's probably something to do with the collective love for the same film in the same room that causes our hearts to become feather-light and worth any burden that comes with them.

The original book has also become an escape of mine, especially after reading it again to write this. I have only ever read from a library copy, all too happy to stroke the soft and frayed ends of the paper as I read and get to the pages that others loved enough to dog-ear. I fear I would not be able to return the book if a previous reader had annotated it too. The copy I borrowed for this reread was another worn paperback from my public library, but the act of reading it felt impossibly longer with the personal memories I have from each chapter.

I can remember reading most of it on my high school bus in the sun and even during hurried breaks in class after I had finished my work, but the most important memory is the immediate smile and tears that threatened to spill when my eyes scanned the final few pages. The tears dried, but the smile stayed as I stuffed the book into my bag and put my legs on the back of the seat in front of me to look out the window. The trees whizzed by outside, but I couldn’t quite notice them, as my mind had escaped to Ingary.

The book’s ending is different from the film’s ending, and I feel it is especially true to both Howl and Sophie’s head-strong personalities (which are much stronger here than in the film) and how they ground each other through their arguments and belief in each other’s goals. The original ending has Howl and Sophie admit their romantic feelings for each other as their by-blood and found family crowd around them, trying to gain their attention. But they have no attention for others to give in that moment. Howl and Sophie finally work past their strong personalities and give into their feelings, while they hold hands and “smil[e] and smil[e], quite unable to stop.” This is also a part that had me the same way–smiling at the book and not able to stop.

Now, if that still does not resonate with others’ feelings about escapism, think about the joy of finding another person that loves a certain video game or crocheting–there is an immediate connection gained. There is generally always a community to be found within the pastimes we choose to escape into, which doesn’t quite sound like traditional escapism (something that is done alone), but is a very real part of it to me. It isn’t always easy to find a sense of community that is so divorced from everyday life that it causes someone to forget their worries, but Howl’s Moving Castle and the brief community forged at the theater every year certainly opens the door to the beautiful side of life that lightens the burdens of our hearts.